


This is Your Life

by invisible_nobody



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/M, I'll add more tags as the story progresses, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-26 11:29:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20741489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisible_nobody/pseuds/invisible_nobody
Summary: Clary Fray saved the world, and in return the Angels punished her.She disobeyed their orders and now she's been stripped of her birthright - forced to spend the rest of her life as a mundane. For one whole year her friends and family have been without her, and everyday is just as painful as the last.One day, she manages to see through Jace's glamour - she even knows his name. Are the Angels forgiving after all, or is this all just another cruel joke?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I finally posted my first Shadowhunters fic! It only took me way too long.
> 
> I've been wanting to write post-epilogue since the last episode premiered, but I held out in the hopes that the show would get picked back up. 
> 
> And... then I stopped hyperfixating on it.
> 
> I'm trying to get back into the fandom (by FINALLY finishing City of Glass, and rewatching some s3 episodes), and I decided to start writing this fic. At last!
> 
> Here goes nothing.

Jace stood there, frozen, note in his hand.

Thoughts flew through his brain so fast that it almost felt like his mind had come to a halt. When had she written this? How long had she known that this was happening? She had only left a few minutes ago, could he find her before she was gone?

He knew he couldn’t. Mostly because his legs wouldn’t move.

After a very long while, he folded the paper and put it in his pocket. He had to go tell somebody. He had to find out where she was going. He had to-

He paused.

In the doorway stood Maryse, her twinkling smile disappearing as soon as he turned around. She rushed over and wiped the tears off of his cheeks with her thumbs. He let her.

“What happened?” she said, cupping his face and looking him in the eye.

Jace opened his mouth to to tell her but stopped himself. If he told Maryse, she was bound to take the information to Alec - Clary belonged to his Institute. Jace wasn’t going to allow that to happen, not that day.

Not on his wedding day.

“It’s nothing.” he lied with a smile. “This wedding is just making me emotional, that’s all.”

Maryse’s frown didn’t budge. “That wasn’t just an ‘emotional’ look on your face. That was  _ devastation _ .”

He chuckled, but it was empty. “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t get dev-”

“-Just like before.” she interrupted. Jace watched her expression widen and could only hope that whatever thought she had was way off the mark. She looked all around the room, her hands never leaving his face, before her eyes returned to his. “Where’s Clary?”

Jace couldn’t stop the tears from returning to his eyes. Deciding that this was a fight he couldn’t win - Maryse was a mother to him, he couldn’t lie to her for long - he croaked, “Don’t tell Alec. Please.”

“Where’s Clary?” Maryse repeated.

_ Be strong _ , he thought, _ Act tough. _

But he had always been weak when it came to Clary.

Jace shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, letting out a breathy laugh. His sad smile wavered for only a moment. “She’s gone.”

* * *

Jace almost couldn’t stand it, watching Simon fall to pieces. They’d never really gotten along, but he didn’t deserve to have his best friend ripped away, and Jace would have never wished it upon him.

Luke didn’t even say anything, he just got up and left the room when Jace told him. Clary and him weren’t blood-related, but that didn’t matter. Clary was his daughter.

Which reaction was harder to bear, he really didn’t know.

He did know that he didn’t appreciate the pity. He couldn’t do anything or go anywhere in the Institute without people giving him that look. Everytime it stopped, something else came up. Always the same look.  _ I can’t imagine being Valentine’s son. He’s in love with his sister? I heard the Fairchild girl got caught in the explosion. She’s gone for good - I guess the Angels are punishing her. _

It never ended.

It was worse when Alec did it.

“Jace…” he said. Jace was sitting on the couch in Alec’s office. According to him, the two of them ‘needed to talk about it’. 

“Alec, don’t.” Jace stopped him before he could find the rest of his sentence. “I can’t.”

Alec, sat on the couch opposite him, and sighed. “Don’t play this game with me, Jace. We both know that I know you better than that. I can feel how badly you're hurting.”

Jace smiled, wishing that Alec wasn’t right but knowing he was. “Don’t worry, I’m handling the fallout of this.”

“Jace-”

“I know you’re the Head of the Institute,” he continued, ignoring Alec, “but I was her boyfriend. I’m going around, telling everyone who was important to her what happened.”

“Jace-”

“You, my friend, just need to take a vacation. Ever heard of that word?  _ Vay-cay-shon _ . Take a week - have a proper honeymoon. Maybe somewhere in Europe-”

_ “Jace!” _

_ “Alec!” _

Then a heavy silence.

Alec exhaled, slumping further into the cushions. “I’m not worried about everyone else. I’m worried about you.”

As always happens when Alec confronts him, Jace could feel tears burning in his eyes. “What do you want me to say, Alec?”

“How you feel.”

“Do you remember how you felt when Asmodeus made you break up with Magnus?” Jace asked.

Alec tensed. “It… felt like everything was over. Like the whole world was falling apart.”

“Yeah,” Jace nodded, standing up, “that’s how I feel.”

He walked out of the office.


	2. Trouble in Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a lot harder to write than I thought it would be. 
> 
> Hopefully they'll come to me easier as we get further into the story.

“-Nightvane, Redwill, and Fellowman go around the opposite side. Watch each other’s backs.”

The Shadowhunters all muttered an acknowledgement along the lines of, “Yes ma’am”, and took off.

_ They had better come back to me. _

“How’s the all-important Head of the New York Institute doing today?”

Isabelle turned around and smiled at her boyfriend. “About as good as she’s always doing. Thank you for asking her.”

“Somebody has to,” Simon wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned in to kiss her, until she started laughing, “What? What did I do?”

For a moment Izzy forgot what she was laughing about, too distracted by Simon’s confusion and concern. She felt bad that he was still so worried about doing something wrong. It was sad, but also sort of sweet and adorable. She had to snap herself back into reality. “Jace fed you that line, didn’t he?”

“What?” Simon exclaimed, incredulously. “Of course not! Why would I accept advice from Jace on how to flirt with his sister?”

“I’m not sure, but,” she began, “I know that I’ve heard Jace use that one before. Nice try.”

Simon’s face fell, and then he tried to cover it up with a laugh. “Okay,  _ maybe _ he gave me a little bit of advice the other day while we were training.”

Isabelle put her hands on her hips, frowning. “Well, I guess I’ll have to have a word with him. He needs to keep his cheesy pick-up lines to himself.”

“No!” Simon yelled, a little but too loud. It drew attention from others in the room. He giggled, shyly, and gave them a little wave of apology. The Shadowhunters focused their attention back to what they were working on. “Look, it’s not Jace’s fault, okay? Don’t yell at him.”

Izzy raised her eyebrows (she had been trying to raise only one, but apparently lacked the ability to do it), and smiled. “Sticking up for Jace? Seems like forcing you two to spend time together has been good for both of you.”

Simon sighed. “He just… he’s trying really hard to act like he’s okay in front of everybody. But he’s not. And I can’t seem to help him, no matter what I say. I don’t want to see you give him a hard time just because he tried to help me.”

“Simon…”

“I gotta go. I’m already late to meet up with him as it is, and you know what he’s like when he gets grumpy,” Simon said, and made took off toward the training room.

Izzy sighed. She wasn’t sure which of her jobs was harder - being the Head of the Institute, being a little sister, or being a girlfriend.

* * *

Jace’s mind was elsewhere.

That became obvious when Simon managed to land a hit on him.

Simon pointed his stick. “You’re off your game,” he lowered it and added, “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Jace said, “Let’s reset.”

“Jace, I hit you. I  _ never _ hit you.”

“I said it’s nothing,” he stated, using a tone that told Simon not to argue. Old Simon probably wouldn’t have. 

He walked up to Jace so suddenly and with such purpose that it must have taken him off-guard. That’s the only way Simon would have managed to grab his wrist like he did. He stared into Jace’s golden eyes just long enough to assert himself before breaking the silence. “Everybody here knows you’re suffering. You need to talk to somebody.”

Jace stood, eyebrows raised, gaping slightly at Simon - he really had surprised him. His eyes hardened for only a couple of seconds before he deflated entirely. Simon let go of his wrist and Jace turned to walk to the nearest pillar. He leaned his back against it and slid to the floor.

“It’s just Clary, man. It’s always Clary.”

“Jace,” Simon began, “eventually you need to-”

“-Get over her, I know,” he finished. 

Simon sighed. What else was he supposed to say? He’d given all of the advice he had in him multiple times over. Nothing had changed. Was that why Jace had given in to talking with Simon again? 

“Come on,” Simon said, “let’s go get something to eat.”

Jace stood up and walked back into the center of the room, saying, “No, let’s go again.”

* * *

Izzy skimmed through the papers one more time.

It couldn’t have been a mere coincidence. Never before has she seen demons attack in a pattern like this; in  _ waves _ . They attack in packs, all at once. They thrash, they attack, they charge. They don’t do…  _ that _ .

She looked at the report on the top of the pile.

A wave of Raum demons - defeated.

Pause.

A wave of Iblis demons - defeated.

Pause.

A wave of Raum demons - defeated.

Pause.

A wave of Ravener demons - defeated.

Only one Shadowhunter made it out to write the report.

Demons weren’t this smart, they don’t come up with strategies this complex. They don’t  _ organize _ like this.

Maybe this squad had just been unlucky.

Or maybe Isabelle had some serious problems on the horizon.

* * *

_ “Yeah, of course I can see you.” _

He rolled over.

_ “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” _

He prayed for it to stop.

_ “What are these tattoos on your neck?” _

Jace sat up in his bed, giving up on trying to sleep. If Clary wasn’t going to leave his head, then so be it. He could get in some training, or go on patrol, or-

He didn’t mean to pick up his phone and he wasn’t sure what number he dialed, but it only took four rings for them to answer.

_ “What is it, Jace. I have to get to work.” _

What did he call Alec for?

“Just wanted to say, ‘hello’,” Jace told him, “is that so wrong?”

_ “I mean, not inherently. I’m just busy,”  _ Alec replied. His voice grew louder and quieter, presumably because he was walking around whatever room he was in.  _ “What time even is it over there?” _

He shrugged, even though he knew Alec couldn’t see him. “Unimportant.”

_ “Get some sleep, Jace,” _ his voice was strict - there was a fine line between his big brother voice and his Shadowhunter voice - but almost painfully familiar.  _ “Don’t make me Portal over there and make you. Magnus is still asleep and I plan on keeping it that way.” _

Jace chuckled, “Alright, alright, calm down. I’ll close my eyes again. Don’t fret your pretty face, alright?”

_ “Good,” _ he said, Jace’s word apparently enough for him,  _ “I’ll talk to you later.” _

And then he hung up.

Jace knew Alec wouldn’t call him. Not through any fault of his own, he was simply busy. All of the time.

But he had his dream life, so who was Jace to mess with that?

Until he knew what was happening with Clary, he’d keep his experience at her gallery his secret.


End file.
